A Compassionate Path to Eating Disorder Recovery

Eating disorders are complex. They are not just about food, weight, or appearance—they are deeply rooted in emotional pain and, often, a need for control or safety. Whether you or someone you love is struggling, know this: eating disorders are rarely simply about the food.

As a therapist who specializes in eating disorder treatment, I’ve had the privilege of walking beside clients through some of their most vulnerable moments. This work has shown me over and over again that recovery is not only real, but transformative. If you’re reading this and wondering whether healing is truly possible, I want you to know: it is.

Understanding Eating Disorders: More Than Meets the Eye

Eating disorders come in many forms and affect people across all ages, genders, body types, ethnicities, and backgrounds. They are not always visible from the outside. People of all body shapes and sizes can experience eating disorders.

Some of the most common eating disorders include:

• Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by restriction of food intake, intense fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image.

• Bulimia Nervosa: Involves cycles of binge eating followed by the compensatory behaviour of purging.

• Binge Eating Disorder (BED): Involves recurring episodes of consuming large quantities of food, often rapidly and to the point of discomfort, without compensatory behaviors.

• Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID): A pattern of eating disturbances often tied to sensory issues or fear of aversive consequences, not driven by body image concerns.

• Orthorexia (not yet officially recognized in the DSM): An unhealthy obsession with "clean" or "healthy" eating that can severely disrupt a person’s life.

While each disorder has unique traits, they all share a common thread: emotional distress expressed through food and the body.

Myths That Get in the Way of Healing

Eating disorders are surrounded by harmful myths that can delay treatment and deepen shame. Let’s dispel a few:

• “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder.” Eating disorders do not have a “look.” People of all sizes can experience eating disorders.

• “It’s just a phase.” Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that require professional support and are not to be brushed off. They are the most fatal psychiatric illness.

• “If they would just eat, they’d be fine.” Recovery is not just about eating differently, it’s about healing psychologically as well.

• “They’re just doing it for attention.” There is immense shame that comes with an eating disorder and it is a mental illness that no one would willfully choose.

Letting go of these myths opens the door for empathy, intervention, and hope.

What Recovery Really Looks Like

Recovery from an eating disorder is not a straight line. It’s more like a winding path—filled with highs and lows, setbacks and breakthroughs. That’s not a sign of failure. It’s how real, meaningful change works.

Here’s what recovery may involve:

1. Reconnecting with the Body

Many people with eating disorders feel disconnected from their bodies—either ignoring hunger cues or feeling at war with their physical selves. In recovery, we begin to rebuild trust with the body: listening, responding, and caring for it rather than controlling or punishing it.

2. Addressing the Root Causes

Eating disorders often serve a function: numbing emotional pain, providing a sense of control, or coping with trauma, anxiety, or low self-worth. Therapy creates space to explore and heal these underlying issues.

3. Rewriting the Inner Dialogue

The inner critic in eating disorders can be relentless. Part of recovery is learning to challenge that voice and cultivate a new one- one rooted in compassion, curiosity, and self-acceptance.

4. Creating a Life Beyond the Disorder

As healing progresses, clients begin to rediscover who they are beyond the eating disorder - reconnecting with passions, relationships, values, and dreams that may have been buried or put on hold.

What Progress Looks Like (Even When It’s Hard to See)

Recovery looks different for everyone and progress can take many forms. Sometimes, it might look like one of these things:

• Eating in a social setting with friends despite feeling anxious

• Choosing rest instead of compulsive exercise

• Recognizing a trigger before acting on it

• Crying instead of restricting

• Feeling an emotion fully, without numbing

These moments are profound victories. They may seem small, but they are the building blocks of sustainable healing.

For Those Who Love Someone Struggling

If someone you care about is living with an eating disorder, you may feel confused, helpless, or scared. You don’t need to have all the answers but your support makes a difference.

Here’s what can help:

• Listen without judgment.

• Avoid comments about weight, food, or appearance. Take a neutral stance to all bodies and food.

• Educate yourself about eating disorders. Meet with an eating disorder therapist yourself to gain a deep understanding of this psychiatric illness.

• Encourage professional help

• Practice patience. Recovery takes time and there will be ups and downs

Taking the First Step

If you’re considering therapy- or just wondering if your relationship with food and body is something to look at- that curiosity is enough. The first step doesn’t have to be big. It might be a phone call. A journal entry. A conversation.

And if you’re further along in your healing, know that setbacks don’t erase progress. Every part of your story matters. Every part deserves care.

Final Thoughts: You Are worthy of recovery

Eating disorders often leave people feeling like the eating disorder is their safe place for finding their worth, validation and comfort.

Recovery is about coming home to yourself. It’s about learning that you are enough as you are- not because of your weight, your achievements, or your willpower- but simply because you exist. You are worthy.

If you or a loved one is navigating an eating disorder, I invite you to reach out. You don’t have to do it alone. Healing is possible, and you are deserving of it.

Let’s take that first step together.

To learn more about therapy for eating disorders or to schedule a virtual consultation, please contact me using the button below.

The Body Image Course is a wonderful self guided e-course to compliment therapy for people living with eating disorders and their support people. Through powerful video lessons, reflective journaling prompts, and unique guided meditations, you’ll explore the roots of body image struggles, uncover the toxic impact of diet culture, and learn practical tools to build body image resilience.

Dealing With Difficult Family Members During the Holidays

The holiday season often brings up a complex mix of emotions. For some, it represents joy, connection, and celebration with family and friends. For others, especially survivors of childhood trauma, it may bring feelings of sadness, resentment, anxiety, guilt or loneliness. It might bring up a longing for the picture perfect family holiday that you’ve never had. Maybe your family holidays were okay, but there was always some kind of conflict or tension to dampen the mood and shatter your expectations.

This blog post is for you if you’ve decided that despite the tension and walking on egg shells, you are going to tolerate going home for the holidays (How to make this decision could be a whole blog post on its own!)

This blog post will cover tips for navigating family gatherings that go beyond “set boundaries and practice self care”. While important, at times these tips feel not enough to really help you navigate through these tricky family gatherings. Let’s review some of my favourite practical strategies for how to manage these tricky situations.

Imagine yourself at your family’s dinner table, sat beside your great aunt who is notorious for her fat phobia and diet culture commentary. You’ve been working in therapy to accept your body and disentangle yourself from society’s idea of the ideal body. You think you might make it through dinner without any mishaps, when suddenly, your great aunt says to you, “Do you really think you should be eating that?”

Here is where you have a choice. You can allow those few words to take you out and undo all of the hard work that you have been doing. Or, you can hit your aunt with this question.

“What do you mean by that?”

Said in a genuinely curious way, this is one of my favourite strategies for dealing with these sorts of inappropriate, passive aggressive comments. This questions typically takes the asker by surprise and forces them to think about and explain what they really mean. If your aunt’s comment was asked as a way to shame your body, she is now being forced to spell out her intentions to you and everyone at the table in why she asked this. Typically, not wanting to make themselves look badly in this process, you will receive a grumbling “Oh, nothing” in response. Putting her on the spot may stop her from making future passive aggressive comments to you. These types of people like to stay under the radar. Remember, keep yourself calm and composed while openly and politely confronting your relative.

Remember that your great aunt is trying to upset you with these comments. By having a big reaction to them, you are giving her what she wants. Keeping calm, cool and collected is the best way to keep yourself out of the game she is trying to play.

Now, let’s be clear. This strategy is best used for those passive aggressive comments, those backhanded compliments, and those statements that are sly manipulations that might even slide under the radar of your other, less observant family members. If a family member is verbally or emotionally abusing you, I would not suggest this strategy. Speak with your therapist to make a plan to help keep you safe.

If you’re interested in more tips for dealing with difficult family members over the holidays, click the link below where I cover an additional bonus tip in my video on Instagram Reels.

About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario. Dana uses evidence based treatment modalities to treat anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), disordered eating and complex family relationships.

Mental Health Tips for Daylight Savings Time

Do you struggle during the winter months?

As the days grow shorter and the chilly winter months approach, many individuals experience a noticeable impact on their mental health. The lack of sunlight, colder temperatures, and limited outdoor activities can take a toll on our mood and overall mental health. However, there are several effective strategies to navigate through the dark winter months and manage your mental health effectively.

Here are some tips that can help:

1. Embrace natural light exposure: Maximize your exposure to natural light as much as possible. Open the curtains during daylight hours, sit near windows, and consider investing in a light therapy lamp that simulates natural sunlight. Light therapy can help regulate your circadian rhythm, boost your mood, and alleviate symptoms of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The lights used for light therapy, known as Happy Lights or SAD lamps have become much more widely available and can be found easily at Costco or on Amazon.

2. Stay Physically Active: Engaging in regular physical activity has been proven to improve mental health. Exercise releases endorphins and helps combat stress and anxiety. One option is to embrace indoor exercise. There are so many options for indoor exercise, such as home workouts on Youtube or workout apps. Alternatively, don’t let the weather change your habits. Although walking when it is cold and cloudy may not be as enjoyable, it still provides the same mental health benefits. Bundle up and take a brisk walk outside.

3. Maintain a routine: Establish a consistent daily routine that includes regular sleep patterns and structured activities. Structure and routine can alleviate feelings of restlessness and contribute to an overall sense of stability during dark winter months. When the darker months arrive, keep as close to your typical routine as you can.
4. Prioritize self-care: Dedicate time for self-care activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction. Engage in activities you enjoy, such as reading, journaling, taking baths, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. Listening to calming music or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy can also enhance your mood and general well-being. The winter months are difficult. Bring some enjoyment to them through creating a cozy environment to read or journal in.
5. Connect with others: Social support is crucial for mental health, especially during challenging seasons. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups and schedule regular virtual meetups or phone calls. Engaging in meaningful conversations and maintaining social connections can help combat feelings of loneliness and isolation. Join a group activity one day a week to fill up your social cup and keep you busy after dark so you aren’t tempted to isolate.
6. Eat a balanced diet: Nourishing your body with nutritious foods can have a positive impact on your mental health. Take time to cook the foods you enjoy. Savour your favourite treats for enjoyment. Food not only nourishes your body, but your brain too.
7. Practice good sleep hygiene: Adequate sleep is essential for good mental health. It is very difficult to feel mentally well when you haven’t slept well. Establish a nighttime routine that promotes restful sleep, such as avoiding caffeine and screens before bed, creating a calm sleep environment, and practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.
8. Schedule a therapy session: If the symptoms of dark winter impact your daily life significantly or persist for an extended period, consider scheduling a therapy session. We can provide support and guidance tailored to your specific needs.

Remember, managing your mental health during the dark winter months requires a proactive and well rounded approach. Implementing these tips can help alleviate symptoms of seasonal affective disorder, boost your mood, and enhance your overall well-being. With proper self-care and support, you can navigate the winter season with resilience and maintain optimal mental health.

About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the Owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a group psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario. Dana uses evidence based treatment modalities to treat anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and disorder eating.